So now we are all trying to find our way back to normal. Some days I am ok and on others I find the tears come all too easily. I guess it'll just take time and I'm glad I have the children to look after, to force me to get out of bed in the morning and to force me to remember to make meals.
It's been difficult to focus on the good things in life. It's difficult to explain, but the good things in life don't seem to make any sense when you're grieving. I remember lying on the bank of the River Lune looking up at the blue sky and thinking that it didn't make sense that the sun was shining when my brother was dead.
Anyway, comfort comes in the shape of close family and good friends. And the children, especially the children. Just things like finding them ballet dancing to Queen's greatest hits (yes, really) before school in the morning, getting a roll of paper and the paint out for an quiet hour in an afternoon,
It's been difficult to focus on the good things in life. It's difficult to explain, but the good things in life don't seem to make any sense when you're grieving. I remember lying on the bank of the River Lune looking up at the blue sky and thinking that it didn't make sense that the sun was shining when my brother was dead.
Anyway, comfort comes in the shape of close family and good friends. And the children, especially the children. Just things like finding them ballet dancing to Queen's greatest hits (yes, really) before school in the morning, getting a roll of paper and the paint out for an quiet hour in an afternoon,
and teaching #2 to ride a bike with pedals.
I've even got my crochet hooks out again having rummaged through the bargain bin at Abakhan for some new yarn. More about that next time.
 |
| Yes, I know it's a 'girl's' bike, but he doesn't seem to mind! |
I've even got my crochet hooks out again having rummaged through the bargain bin at Abakhan for some new yarn. More about that next time.
I feel for you im grieving to so know how you feel; my dad died end of Febuary I was there after nursing him through terminal cancer.Im pregnant with first child thats what keeps me going.
ReplyDeleteTry to think of lovely times you had and count them as blessings.
I understand and i'm sorry for your pain. My brother passed away in 1999 age 27 and my son in 2009 age 23 . The grief is terrible but with each day things become more manageable, the pain slowly eases and the important thing to remember are the good times. You will find a rhythm that makes living happy once again alongside the loss, they blend together. Life will not be the same as before but life will be good, it feels hard to imagine that now. You will have days here and there, I do, there are days where I feel I can't breathe, but it's less crippling than in the early days. Think of him fondly, send him love and hold him close.
ReplyDeletexxx
ReplyDeleteThoughts are with you and your loved ones at this tough time
ReplyDeleteXx
Le malheur de l'avoir perdu, ne doit pas te faire oublier, le bonheur de l'avoir connu.
ReplyDeleteThe misfortune of losing him mustn't make you forget the hapiness or the privilege of knowing him...I hope the translate is correct.
I'm sorry for your lost.
Thanks for your comment.
Better days will come...
Hug
Anna
My grandfather decided to leave this world at Christmas, although he was my grandfather in the absence of my father my grandad was the closet thing I had to a dad so when u say all the good things in life don't seem to make sense I really do understand its hard but almost 6 months on things are better and brighter. Never forgotten. You may not be able to see your brother, touch your brother or talk to him but he is always in your heart and forever in your memories.
ReplyDeleteTime is the best healer and the family make it do much easier to deal with, embrace the happy times
Lots of love and my thoughts are with you
Shelley. X
I'm sorry for your loss. Don't really know what to say, it must be terrible to lose a brother. All the best to you and your family
ReplyDeletexxx
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, I'm sending you lots of love xx
ReplyDeleteGrief is a strange thing but you will get there and as you say the children will keep you going!
ReplyDeleteTake care Victoria,
Vivienne x
Very sorry for your loss - I'm sending you comforting ((hugs)).
ReplyDeleteGrieving is such strange process sometimes you feel sad, sometimes angry or guilty. I can remember being angry because my friends grandma was still alive and mine had just died. I hope the days get easier for you and remember everything your feeling is normal and it's ok to feel that way. Thinking of you. Ali x
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry I missed the post about your brother. So, so sorry about your loss. I lost my brother 20 years ago to cancer, he was 45. I miss him so much. He was 17 years older than me, which meant we did not have a huge amount in common, but I still miss that he never met my husband or my children. I think about his own children and what he is missing in their lives. It is hard, but the days get easier. I will be sending you special loving thoughts during this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteMeredith
i missed your post about your brother..
ReplyDeletewords are not enough
i lost my brother september last..my only sibling..
although we lived on opposite sides of the world..i knew he was there and we agreed to all meet in france one day..
that will never happen..sadly
it was unbearable for me for around a month
every time i see a rainbow i say 'hiya our Paul,love you'
and then i put his photo on my opening page on my iphone and say hi hundreds of times a day
it actually makes me smile and i feel he is nearer to me now more than ever..
these were the last few words read at Pauls funeral
you can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he would want: smile,open your eyes,love and go on..
i hope my words bring you some comfort
lynnie
I understand your pain.. I will remember you in my prayers :))
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your brother. I have a brother and have also had issues with our relationship which thankfully are improving. I am pleased you got to see your brother and repair your relationship before he died. With love, Lily. xxx
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing that he came back into your lives when he did x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. The children do keep you going don't they? Thinking of you and sending love. x
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear the bad news about your brother. My thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are feeling a bit more right - it is a slow process grieving and we all do it at our own pace so I think focusing on the good you can find is smart and being kind to yourself is important. Hugs, Patti
ReplyDeleteThank you for speaking so openly about something so personal....I really feel for you, I have some experience of loosing contact of close family member and THAT alone is heart-breaking.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking of you daily (I really mean that..)and hope you are coming to terms with this sad, sad time...children do really help, don't they?
Take care
Jude
There is a blessing here in amongst the grief and that is that you did get to mend the bridges before he died. You will always be glad of that instead of having the regret of not doing it. You now have more recent memories of your time with him and that will be a wonderful way of keeping him close.
ReplyDelete